when you can't tell what you really feel?



Many many times, I've fallen in love with someone whose personality I felt was just perfect.

And many many times, I've had that 'love' broken simply because I was too afraid and drifted away, or they lived so far it just wasn't possible.


I'm surrounded by people I care for, and people that care for me, but at the same time, I wonder, is that care real? Can one really care for someone they have never really met, or someone they only met once or twice?

I have so many things running through my head, making me think: "How do I know the truth? Am I making the right choice, or am I going to screw this up too?"

I feel afraid....terrified, of what is to come, because I don't know if I'm telling myself the truth. Is this what love feels like? This suspense?

But at the same time, I feel like this is so right. Like this is what I truly want....yet, it's not finished. Something is missing? Or maybe it's the anticipation.....


I feel like I've lost a part of myself each time I realized I could not be with someone. And now, I have someone I CAN be with, and I feel fear and hope at the same time, I feel....relief, yet I feel nervous. I'm so conflicted that I sometimes forget what it means to be myself.






"What are you willing to give up, to get what you want."
The quote I made, and the quote that haunts me forever more.